Final amateur record 2-1
You would have thought I was on a path to enlightenment and I was with several detours on the way. I went into 2015 with hope and excitement. I was still working out doing boxing training a minimum of 4 days per week 2 hrs per session. I had dirty little secrets though. After training I'd go straight to the nearest convenience store and buy a reeses PB cup. My reasoning was that I had burned off so many calories that I could eat this guilt free. Little did I know that I was just feeding the demon inside of me. This demon had been in there for most of my life but I didn't realize it until I crashed and burned, pockets full of Hershey kisses.
Flash forward into 2016. I have let more and more healthy habits go and I start my spiral into full blown food addiction (especially sweets, my go to). Starting towards the end of 2015 I proceeded to fall into a full blown food binge that lasted for 3 and 1/2 years. I gained 80lbs back of the 140 I had lost. I felt miserable, deflated and ready to give up. All of my hopes to help others came to a screeching halt. How could I help anyone if I couldn't help myself? By the time Jan 2019 came around I had truly given up. Mentally I was foggy, slow, and cranky. Physically I was tired, weak, feeling nauseous with a stomach ache all of the time. I had grown out of all of my clothes and had bought begrudgingly larger pants as the sizes I needed just kept growing. I was angry with myself for letting me get this way (again) especially since I knew what this food does to our bodies. I had researched nonstop for a year in 2011. Every waking moment I wasn't at work was dedicated to reading studies in the government med pub sites. Looking up words I didn't understand struggling to gain some insight into what killed my mother. This was how I was able to give up processed foods, junk foods, and carbage in the first place after years and years of abusing myself with foods.
My perspective sure has changed since those first years of study and research. I was only interested in the physiological aspects of food and its relationship to our bodies. Now what I've realized 8 years later is that the mental component is just as much if not more important to understand. I've learned that I'm a sugar addict and that no matter how healthy I thought I was being I was never going to conquer this addiction until I actually realized I had an addiction in the first place.
I've had so many people tell me that my approach should be everything in moderation. I've tried that, believe me I have, but when I eat a (insert the food item here) I find that I am unable to eat it in moderation. Either I have to have more of it right then, which is likely the case with me, or I keep thinking about it and know it's there and will keep on going back to it until its gone.
So on January 6th of 2019 I gave up sugar completely with the help of a Sugar Addiction group on Facebook I began my long journey out of sugar hell. When I say I gave up sugar I mean approximately 90-95% because there is literally sugar in just about everything boxed, bagged, or in a jar. This meant a lot of processed foods, dressings, and sauces. Sugar including natural sugars and sugar substitutes. I only eat a handful of berries every few days. Count my carbs and try to avoid baked goods and starchy veggies. I have found that even sugar subs set off addictive behavior.
I try to keep my sugar at or below the amount recommended for a woman with type 2 diabetes with is 22g per day or less. You'd be shocked at how much that really is. Not much and I'm not always successful but it is the goal daily. I use the glycemic index to monitor these numbers.
The most important thing I do is reinforce my brain regarding how destructive sugar is by meeting with likeminded people who are on the same path, listen to pod casts, or read about conditions that pertain to my health. I also watch documentaries regarding what sugar does to us inside of our bodies. There are several good ones out there. My body is responding slowly but surely. I am now a year off of sugar and I see that I have more motivation, less mood swings and depression, my premenopausal symptoms are gone, I have stopped overheating, no more brain fog and my thyroid symptoms are so much better as well as much less cravings. My weight has gone down significantly 65lbs as of today. Its the non scale victories or NSV's that I'm happy about. I've gone down to the pant size I was at when I was at my lowest weight. Previously, I could never lose weight in certain areas of my body because I still ate a lot of sugar even though it was considered "healthy" sugar. The funny thing though is its not about the number on the scale for me anymore. I want health. True health and I don't want to feel like crap anymore. My mind is at ease thanks to a wonderful support group I joined in the middle of the year last year. That has made all the difference in the world to me. Still a work in progress. I'm finally happy to realize I have an addiction and that I'm now in recovery and will be for the rest of my life no matter what my size is. At least I finally have an answer and a plan.
Stay safe out there temptation is everywhere but you can do it with knowledge, kindness and support.
